30 January 2004

Two stories almost about me

Such is the nature of my generational / social class / cultural / tempermental position that few novels I have read really express the the tenor of my own life experience. But there are a couple of stories on the web which really get it.

One is by the dazzling web cartoonist Patrick Farley, whose Electric Sheep is a showcase of inventiveness and skillful comics storytelling often, but not always, laced with humor. In a later post, I introduce all of my favorite stories of his, but for today I just want to bring The Guy I Almost Was to your attention. (Update: a single page archive of that story, if you need it.)

It's a long story for a web comic: give yourself 20 or 30 minutes to read it. Along the way it evokes the magic of a slightly geeky childhood, the economic desperation Generation X experienced in the early ’90s, the appeal and the absurdity of Mondo 2000 back in the days of “cyber-culture,” and the deep strange seductive power of the Beat era for intense young men. A tiny novel, in web comic form. It works for me. Maybe it will work for you.

My other offering in the tales of smart, weird, intense young men is The Serial Killer Jailbait Airline Lotto by the astonishing Igloowhite. Again, I'll be coming back to some of my favorite things of his in a later blog post. But for now, let me just introduce this one story about sharing a flight with a pretty young girl who, it turns out, is fascinated by serial killers.

At first, I thought this might be a conversational gambit, a feigned interest. But no — she was true to her word, tirelessly questioning me on everything I knew about the perpetrators of serial violence. She wanted to know why I knew so much, and I admitted that I was also obsessed with serial killers — to the extent that I (sheepishly) consider myself something of an armchair profiler.

So I spoke with her like I speak with all teenagers, like an adult. To say that she was amped was something of an understatement.

This odd encounter turns into a moment of clarity in which Igloo realizes that being smart, weird, and intense is a nightmare as a teenager, but eventually you grow into it, that it takes you to extraordinary places where ordinary folks cannot go — like a random conversation with a pretty girl about random murder. This is the kind of weird that turns up in my life, and Igloowhite captures it perfectly.

29 January 2004

Five geek social fallacies

Those of you interested in geekkultur may want to have a look at this astute article written by and for the smart, social, and socially awkward.
Ostracizers Are Evil
Friends Accept Me As I Am
Friendship Before All
Friendship Is Transitive
Friends Do Everything Together
...
Each fallacy has its own set of unfortunate consequences, but frequently they become worse in interaction. GSF4 often develops into its more extreme form when paired with GSF5; if everyone does everything together, it's much harder to maintain two friends who don't get along. One will usually fall by the wayside.

Similarly, GSF1 and GSF5 can combine regrettably: when a failure to invite someone is equivalent to excluding them, you can't even get away with not inviting Captain Halitosis along on the road trip. GSF3 can combine disastrously with the other ''friendship test'' fallacies; carriers may insist that their friends join them in snubbing someone who fails the test, which occasionally leads to a chain reaction which causes the carrier to eventually reject all of their friends.

There's a word for it

Nock (n.) -- The cleft of an arrow, or of the fundament

John Kersey's New English Dictionary (1772)

Oceania was, in fact, at war with Eurasia

You may have noticed that the Bush administration is now saying that they never claimed that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction which were a threat to the US, which seems a little funny, since I recall them saying exactly that.

As a notable example, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said the other day, ''I think some in the media have chosen to use the word 'imminent.' Those were not words we used,'' which is odd, since on 10 February 2003 his exact words were ''this is about imminent threat.''

For your convenience, the nice people at the Center for American Progress have prepared a detailed history of the semantics of the ''imminent threat'' from Iraq plus another page with a big stack of quotes from Bush and administration officials, in case you're wondering if your memories are a hallucination.

Makes my head hurt

Okay. Okay. Someone is maintaining a blog of spam. Really. Check back every few days for new spam on the blog.

It does not appear to be ironic. Well, actually, it does appear to be very ironic. But it does not appear to be intentionally ironic.

Why?

Sometimes I wonder if some internet content, like the bad movies you find on Deep Cable, isn't the result of some spontaneous mimetic genesis that operates without human intervention. I can almost imagine the Harlan Ellison or Philip K. Dick story: ''Jonathan, if you think about it, why would anyone deliberately make that stuff? It's just a natural outgrowth of the infosphere once it reaches a certain critical mass ...''

Can the American right really believe this stuff?

Today there's a good rant over at The Volokh Conspiracy, quoting Paul Craig Roberts, Reagan's pick for Assistant Secretary of the Treasury.
Compare an American taxpayer's situation today with that of a 19th century American slave.
...
[Some slaves] were freer than today's American taxpayer.
...
The ''Civil Rights revolution'' destroyed equality before the law. Today rights are race-and gender-based.
Have I somehow managed to quote Roberts out of context, to twist his meaning? Go check out Eugene Volokh's rant and see that no, I didn't.

I honestly, genuinely do not know if educated guys on the right like Roberts really believe this stuff, or if they're just saying it. I recognize that some of the stuff I believe is puzzling to folks like them, but this sort of nonsense just seems impossible for anyone thoughtful to swallow.

Tightening airport security is useless

It turns out that several of the 9/11 hijackers were screened by the FAA.
The 10-member bipartisan commission revealed that nine of the 19 hijackers had been flagged by the Federal Aviation Administration's computer passenger screening system before boarding their flights. The system alerts airport security screeners to more thoroughly check passengers who buy one-way tickets or pay with cash. FAA procedures at the time called for the luggage of the ''selectees'' to be screened for explosives.

According to the report, three of the five hijackers aboard Flight 11 were designated selectees by the computer system, known as CAPPS, but one hijacker had checked no luggage and screeners scanned the bags of the other two for explosives. All five hijackers aboard American Flight 77 -- which crashed into the Pentagon -- were selectees and their luggage was held before they were confirmed on the aircraft, and no further screening was done.

One hijacker aboard United Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania, was flagged and his bag was screened for explosives before being loaded onto the plane, the report said.

Washington Post

Yet we act as though bigger helpings of the same security measures will make a difference. At this point, we may as well eliminate all airport security: no one will ever let terrorists take over a jumbo jet again. Passengers foiled the 9/11 jet-as-flying-bomb strategy later that same day.

26 January 2004

The same data in two forms

As a way of pressuring my friend John Dunning into becoming a blogger, I'm going to rudely share with y'all an email he sent to me.


The world's most attractive zipcode entry field

The applet starts by displaying every zipcode in the US as a white dot. As you type each digit in a zipcode, all the codes that begin with what you've typed stay white, while the others fade. So typing 9 lights up the West Coast, typing 4 highlights just the Bay Area, and so on. Simple, but kind of hypnotic.

Zip

The zipcode map is almost dot for dot identical to a nighttime picture of the US from orbit:

Earth

Considering how zipcodes are distributed, that shouldn't be surprising. But it's still remarkable that as soon as humans are concentrated enough to merit their own zipcode, they use enough light to be visible from space.

Two other people's thoughts about blogging

Now that I'm blogging, I'm thinking about blogging. Very meta. I'm not sure that I have anything to say about it yet, other than that these two folks have interesting observations ...

Clive Thomson points out that blogging gets you thinking like a writer.

The thing that most writers and pundits don't realize is that, before the Internet came along, the vast majority of Americans never wrote anything -- ever -- after they left high school or college. There was neither any need (their jobs didn't require it) or any vehicle for doing it in their spare time. What the Internet did was give us all a reason to write -- and write tons. Which is where things get cool, because that helped Americans realize that they are, beneath the surface, a hell of a lot more outre and odd than they're normally allowed to be in polite company. Hence all the flame wars, the brobdignagian emotions, the playful grandstanding that characterizes so much of online life.
Meanwhile, Rands in Repose agrees and takes it a step further to argue that everyone should ''write and meet with courage.'' Seconding Clive Thomson, he says
If you're reading this, you've chosen to use the web as a means of gathering new ideas. It is a non-trivial ability to take that drunken thought you had last Thursday and translate it a compelling argument that folks should talk about. Writing takes time and practice and time and practice.

When you create a space in your life for a weblog, you're saying, ''Writing matters.''

... then he goes on to talk about the power of weblogging for community ...
Once you've ably conquered the whole writing thing and your ideas are floating around the weblog-o-sphere, people are going to find you. These people are going to want to talk about what you wrote and, oddly enough, their voice is going to sound familiar. This is because they've found something familiar in your voice.

Weblogs match people together regardless of geography thus making the world a pleasantly smaller place.

Is the spam industry employing schizophrenics?

When I first read about Bayesian filtering for spam I dared to hope that it would work well enough to frustrate spammers out of existence. But of course I was wrong: it just created Darwinian pressure for craftier spam. Since Bayesian filtering looks for words and word patterns in email that denote spam or non-spam email, spammers are now trying to overwhelm the filters by adding weird random words that drown out the spammishness of such words as !V!I!A!G!R!A!

Lately, the efforts to outfox filters have taken a turn to the poetic. Today I received this little gem:

Jim gave an indignant neigh

Look at me! he cried

You may guess what an improvement is this automatic Record of Events, which is as reliable as Truth itself

Behold a real horse! The wooden animal gave a start, and then examined the other intently Nothing can be altered or falsified, for the vibratory currents convey the actual events to your vision, even as they happen

This seems oddly reminiscent of conversations I've had with folks on Market Street who have missed a few doses of their antipsychotic medications: rambling somewhere in the border territory between sense and nonsense. Perhaps some street people have now moved on to happier, more productive lives writing copy for the spam industry.

Two other things worth noting while I'm on the subject. Clive Thomson at Collision Detection has more on spam poetry, as well as antispam poetry, as part of his ongoing coverage of spam weirdness.

Plus, it's important that you read what British Parliment has to say on the subject of spam, in both senses of the word.

BARONESS STRANGE: My Lords, does the Minister agree that sardine tins and anchovy tins are also very difficult to open with their tin-openers?

LORD SAINSBURY OF TURVILLE: My Lords, I think I will just agree with the noble Baroness on that question.

LORD MITCHELL ASKED HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT: What are their plans to reduce the growth in spam (unsolicited emails).

LORD SAINSBURY OF TURVILLE: My Lords, I hope the noble Lords will appreciate how I move seamlessly from corned beef to spam.

24 January 2004

Batman is not your superfriend

I just returned from a few days on the road, which means a few days in hotels, which means a few evenings of watching television. Since I don’t have a TV, this is a big treat.

Usually I watch a lot of Law and Order, which is always on, but the best part this time was catching an episode of Justice League on the Cartoon Network. I’ve seen it a few times before, and it beats the hell out of the Superfriends I grew up on. Not only is the animation crafty, the show is written by witty people who know and love the characters and the whole sensibility of comic book superheroes. [Update: Like many superhero nerds, in the years since this post I have come to believe that Justice League + Justice League Unlimited are the best interpretation of the DC Comics superheroes ever done in any medium.]

This week’s episode featured a ten-foot android deceived by Lex Luthor into believing that the Justice League are bad guys. It emerges that the android copies superheroes’ superpowers by looking at them, so before long it’s as strong as Wonder Woman and as fast as the Flash. The League wisely decides to have Superman hang back, but when the android is about to smash Hawkgirl into feathers the big blue boy scout zooms to the rescue. He blindfolds the android with a hunk of metal, but before long the android rips that away and catches a glimpse of Superman, leading to some building-smashing that’s pretty cool if you like that sort of thing.

Then the show becomes very smart. Batman turns up and we get a look at Batman through android-o-vision.

“You don’t have any powers,” says the android.

“No,” says Batman. “But I have this.” He reaches into his utility belt, and produces something green and glowing. The android starts looking woozy. “You get the powers,” says Batman, “but you also get the vulnerabilities.” The android falls into a river, to come back for more trouble later.

Hawkgirl comes up to Batman. “You carry krypotnite with you?”

“I think of it as insurance.”

Now that’s the real Batman. None of this “Robin, try using the bat-foam” nonsense. Kids watching this show will learn the important life lesson that you do not fuck with the Batman.


This post originally ran under the title “My mon Bats, he don’t shiv”, a reference to a line of dialogue in Frank Miller’s hugely influential Batman series The Dark Knight Returns. In that story, the evil gang the Mutants speak in a peculiar slang; “shiv”, presumably short for “shiver”, means “fear” or possibly “hesitate”.

A reader unfamiliar with the reference pointedly asked if it was kosher for a white guy like me to use the voice of Black slang (“my mon” and the use of “don’t” as the present tense third person singular version of “do not”) in the title for this post. It hadn’t occurred to me, but on reflection it’s A Bit Awkward so discretion is the better part of valor.

It’s notable that despite their slang, the Mutants are not portrayed as Black. Indeed, crime-ridden downtown Gotham seems, unlike the cities of New York and Chicago which inspire it, to be almost entirely a white city, with crime coming in the form of white mafiosos, white gangs, and (of course) colorfully-dressed white lunatics. Astute readers have observed that this anomaly is necessary because if Batman lived in an ordinary American city, he’d be a white billionaire spending his nights wandering around downtown punching the Black underclass, an image that Would Not Do At All.

This observation should make us discomforted to think about why Batman’s War On Crime appeals to us, no?

20 January 2004

Republican foreign policy is even worse than I imagined?

David Neiwert at Orcinus has a long post quoting a fella named Mark D. Lew about how the ''October surprise'' story about presidential candidate Ronald Reagan's efforts to delay the return of American hostages in Iran in 1980 is a capsule example of how and why the US is a supporter of authoritarian regimes.
Members of the U.S. government are frequently expressing their moral support for the democratic reform movement in Iran. At the same time, our actions are supporting the vali faqih. Why? Because he can deliver the goods. What we want most from Iran right now is for them to shut down their nuclear weapons program. The democratic movement is basically for a peaceful Iran, but all you've got to show for it is the rhetoric of a bunch of activists who argue with one another, and who knows who will actually be elected? With Ali Khamenei, he can say the word and the nuclear program shuts down right now. That's a man we can do business with, and so we do.
It's a fairly intricate look at how the October surprise story connects to the internal politics in Iran, and the implications are chilling, as Neiwert observes.
If these accounts prove accurate, the Reagan team's behavior in this instance constituted treason, by any definition of the term. As Mark suggests, the Reagan folk directly undermined government negotiations to free the hostages. If George H.W. Bush was a direct participant in this, it casts an even darker light on not only his presidency but his subsequent actions regarding Iran-Contra and Iraq, actions for which we continue to confront the consequences.
...
The principals may indeed have said their piece, but sadly, the public is spectacularly unaware of this. The point is to put our current events in a clear and factual context that erases the mythology favored by Republican propagandists, who would have us get all misty-eyed over the wonders of the Reagan administration's moral clarity and farsighted vision.

After all, we are currently in a political environment in America in which it is a commonplace to characterize liberals as traitors and to suggest that they have behaved treasonously in our response to ''the war on terror.'' What the October Surprise scenario makes clear is that not only are the Republicans now running the government the principal traitors here, but their entire approach to dealing with terrorists is a poisonous cauldron of deceit, both at home and abroad.

It explains a lot

A modest proposal from the Unintelligent Design Network:
UDN, Inc. and GNIJS of Ohio are united in our cause to open up Ohio state science curriculum to fair, even-handed and objective discussion of all sides of the issue of the origins of life.
...
We hereby propose that a new debate be held, including members of the scientific community to argue that evolution should be taught as is, members of SEAO or the Intelligent Design Network, Inc. to argue that life shows evidence of an intelligent, omnipotent creator, and member of our organization to argue that although life was designed by an all-powerful creator, he is in reality pretty dumb and not very good at it.
Spotted by the magnificent Brad DeLong.

Eyesore of the month

Grumpy urban design critic James Howard Kunstler maintains an Eyesore of the Month page showing examples of our nightmarish American built environment annotated with his scathing criticism. Kunstler is sort of a real-life equivalent to Dean Motter's Mr. X, ranting about how our architecture is so bad that it will drive us crazy. I'm not mocking Kunstler, mind you; I agree with him.

My favorite eyesore post combines the witty, the sad, and the chilling in its last line.

Here we have the old courthouse in Biloxi, Mississippi, (left) and its 1970s replacement (right) -- the sublime and the ridiculous. The old building is garbed in the architectural vestments of authority in decorum. The new courthouse invokes arbitrary bureaucratic despotism. Note to political economists: the building on the left came from a far less affluent society than the one at right.
I do wish his web site design were not so horrid, though. You'd think that as an urban design critic, he'd know better, but in my experience a good eye for one design discipline doesn't necessarily confer any advantage in approaching other disciplines.

19 January 2004

Four ways to get drunk

It is conceivable that I may have a reader unfamiliar with TV drinking games. The original is believed to be “Hi Bob”: you watch The Bob Newhart Show and take a sip of alcohol any time someone on the show says “Hi, Bob.” Beer is traditional, as drinking hard liquor this way would be unhealthy. But the most notorious variant is Star Trek drinking games: you watch an episode of Trek and sip your drink whenever a show cliche happens. Folks have been publishing lists of situations that call for a drink since the days of mimeographed fanzines.

I recently stumbled across a particularly witty example of the form.

  • A garbled distress call
  • Mention of or reference to Shakespeare
  • Someone is attempting to compensate
  • Someone says “with all due respect...”
  • Data is “attempting to do so”
  • They cut to Spock for a “no-reaction” shot

That Shakespeare thing alone could hurt you pretty bad.

I get a kick out this kind of thing, because it often reveals little epiphanies about the storytelling tricks of a show. It's not that Star Trek is formulaic, though sometimes it can be. It's that good series television is structured. Consider a West Wing drinking game, which includes “whenever Latin is spoken” and “whenever there's a reference to a musical — two sips if it's Gilbert & Sullivan.”

You may argue that The West Wing is TV and therefore still essentially kitchy, but consider the Shakespeare drinking game you could do:

  • Someone tells you where they're from
  • A comedy relief character breaks out of blank verse
  • People discuss something they're watching offstage
  • A character uses a metaphor and then another character elaborately turns it around to mock them
  • Someone remarks on the brevity of youth

That right there will get you pretty buzzed. In fact, I find myself wondering if drinking games weren't invented at the Globe Theatre: I wouldn't put it past the Elizabethans.


Update: Ten more from io9.

Take one drink when:
  • Daenerys screams about her dragons, or anything else.
  • There's pointless nudity to bribe us into listening to a lecture about the history of the Targaryens.
  • Varys or Littlefinger tell the truth and nobody listens to them.
  • Tywin or Lady Olenna put the smackdown on someone.
Drink and chaser when:
  • Someone makes a dreadful decision, that you can tell will lead to ruin even if you haven't read the books.

The backstory on one of my favorite quotes

It was said that the people had lost the confidence of the government and could win it back only by redoubled efforts. Would it not be simpler if the government dissolved the people and elected another?

Berthold Brecht

I first heard that one through Robert Anton Wilson. Today Brad DeLong has an illuminating post about what Brecht was talking about.

MLK day

Most people have forgotten that at the civil rights march on Washington DC on 28 August 1963, Martin Luther King was not the featured speaker. He was not the icon of the movement that we think of today. He was a major player, yes, but there were others more famous, respected, and important at that time. The speech he gave—the one you know—changed that.

The importance of the speech is distinctively American. The United States, unique among nations, is a frankly artificial creation. France is the place in Europe where people speak French, but the US has no ethnic definition—this place is full of immigrants who decided to be Americans, and their children. Japan is an island, but there's nothing natural about the borders of the US—this place wound up a nation through a chaotic combination of war, purchase, legislative decisions, and (oh yeah) genocide. The US is an idea. Something we just made up.

This is why we have our peculiar veneration of documents. The Declaration of Independence and the Constitution are the holiest of holies in our civic religion because they are made of words, made of ideas. Through acclamation over the years we have chosen a handful of other documents that tell us what the United States is, like Lincoln's Gettysburg address and Martin Luther King, Jr.'s I have a dream speech. In that speech, the power of King's rhetoric and ideas was so great that hearing it transformed our understanding of what the nation was about. I know, I know, that's a white guy thing to say: it's not like plenty of folks didn't know about American racial injustice. But on the level of shared understanding of shared destiny, King gave dazzling voice to ideas implicit in the American national promise that had too long been denied. And still are denied today.

In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

Go read it right now. It will only take five minutes of your time. With no exaggeration, I think it's your duty as an American — we have a lot of work left to do.

And while you're at it, take a little more time and read Letter from a Birmingham Jail. I know you did it back in school. It's worth doing again.

18 January 2004

When I agree with Tom Friedman, I now doubt myself

Friedman's latest column says in so many words that Israel must get out of the West Bank and Gaza Strip as soon as possible and evacuate most of the settlements.
Let's not mince words. American policy today toward the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is insane.
...
The Bush team destroyed the Iraqi regime in three weeks and has not persuaded Israel to give up one settlement in three years. To think America can practice that sort of hypocrisy and win the war of ideas in the Arab-Muslim world is a truly dangerous fantasy.
I agree with Friedman's pro-Israeli-security / anti-Israeli-policy fundamental philosophy. But after a year of him as an Iraq invasion apologist, his writing all smells fishy to me. Am I missing something here?

Crossing the memes

There's a style of humor that I'm not sure has a name: combining two disparate styles of things into a whimsical fusion that rewards a familiarity with both. My favorite example of this thing is Nathanial Daw's little masterpiece Republic Dogs, which mixes the dialogues of Plato and Quentin Tarantino.
Aristotle: Well, allow me to demonstrate. Let's say there was an imaginary city, and all the people were divided into three groups. Let's say I represent the Gold group, I'd be Mr. Gold, you, Socrates would be Mr. Silver, and, you, Alcibiades, Mr. Bronze.

Alcibiades: Why do I have to be Mr. Bronze?

Aristotle: Because it's only a demonstration. So me, Gold, I'd be the philosopher king--

Alcibiades: But why can't I be the philosopher king? Look, Socrates, I'll trade with you.

Aristotle: [Draws a gun, fires a shot into the air, and points it at Alcibiades] Interrupt me again, motherfucker. Interrupt me again. Nobody's trading with anybody. This is my allegory.

The recasting of the Talmud I linked to in my last post is another example, as is Star Trek by Dr. Suess.
Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine.

LaForge: But sir, the engines are offline!

Picard: Offline? But why? I want to go! Please make it so, please make it so!

This kind of humor is beloved of hyperarticulate lovers of intricate systems of detail -- like both academics and hackers, so no wonder it's all over the web. And what else do those folks love? Meta-humor.

17 January 2004

An addition to next year's haggadah

In yet another demonstration that all wisdom is already found in the Talmud, it turns out that optimality theory, which is apparently a hot new development that has all of the phonologists talking, is already present in the Talmud's discussion of Passover sacrifices.
''What we have here," Hillel began, "is a simple case of constraint conflict:''

(1) SAB: You shall do no work on the Sabbath.

(2) PASS: You must offer the Passover sacrifice.

''Conflict of this type is quite general,'' he went on. ''For example, the Tamid offering (TAM) is performed twice daily, including on the Sabbath, and so outranks the Sabbath; if PASS outranks TAM, then, by transitivity of strict domination, PASS >> TAM >> SAB.''

Hillel then drew the diagram in (3):

(3) Input: Passover falls on a Sabbath ...

Comics are really bloody expensive

So I just dropped over $200 at the comic book shop, almost entirely on trade paperbacks. Now granted, I love the medium, I'm pretty flush these days, I've admitted to myself that it's a priority in my life to spend real money on books/DVDs/comics/magazines, and it's been a couple of months at least since I've bought comics -- a recipe for an expensive outing.

But I've also made a conscious effort for the past several years to restrict my comics purchases to my favorite stuff, which basically adds up to witty genre-bending work written by snarky Brits. This isn't quite so esoteric and trivial a category as the uninitated might imagine -- but still, it leaves out a lot of interesting books that my younger self, with his more catholic tastes, might have wanted to pick up.

Glen Engel-Cox is right, the comics industry has spiraled into madness.

One of these days I’m going to post my graph about how comics, as a consumable media, has outpaced inflation in comparison to others, and in comparison to the other options for a child/teen’s dollar at the convenience store. It’s not the trade paperback that’s killing the comic market, John Bryne and Peter David, it’s the exorbidant cost of your monthly comic.

16 January 2004

A stunning reversal

Roger Ebert makes an interesting aside in his review of Torque today:
Hells Angels on Wheels (1967) was frankly intended as an exploitation picture by everyone involved, who all hoped to move up to the A-list and make better films (all except for the producer, Joe Solomon, who we will get to in a moment).

Torque (2004), I fear, considers itself to be a real movie....

What has happened between 1967 and 2004 is that Hollywood genres have undergone a fundamental flip-flop. Low-budget pictures are now serious and ambitious and play at Sundance. Big-budget exploitation work, on which every possible technical refinement is lavished, are now flashy and dispensable and open in 3,000 multiplexes. Little did Solomon suspect that he was making the major studio pictures of the future.

Quote of the day

If it were left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.

Thomas Jefferson

15 January 2004

Que es mas macho?

Speaking of Laurie Anderson, a friend tells me that this site lets you compare opinions of the gender of common household objects.

Virtual 'hood

So I just learned about CPixel, which is sort of Friendster for folks concerned with Ke3p1n' It ReA1, HoMe8oY, with a little Hot or Not mixed in.

From a design perspective, I cannot help noticing that the site design is not as bad as you would ph33r, and there are a couple of cool innovations that serve the target audience. Most notably, you can not only link to friends ("homies"), you can also link to anti-friends ("shit list"). Plus -- and this is a little innovation that other sites could borrow -- there's a function for flagging fake profiles, and has a top-level link to a list of 'certified fakes'.

How the blind lead the deaf

The phrase of the week in the Echo Chamber appears to be former Treasury Secretary O'Neill's comment that our nation's president was like “a blind man in a room full of deaf people” at cabinet meetings.

This reminds me of Teresa Nielsen Hayden's comments almost a year ago, which explained for me a lot of things you see happening in the Bush administration:

Bush:
I do not need to explain why I say things. — That’s the interesting thing about being the President. — Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don’t feel like I owe anybody an explanation.
....
It’s one of the tactics you can use if you’re in an executive-level job that’s beyond your abilities, you have to have meetings with underlings who know more than you do, and your only concern is to save face while making sure they’re giving you what you want.
....
This camouflages the fact that you don’t know which end of the stick is sharp. It also teaches people that they’re only safe if you’re happy.

Having to ask questions is likewise unacceptable ....

03 January 2004

Chairman Bruce understands what Burning Man ain't

In the course of his interesting-as-ever State of the World address, Bruce Sterling makes an offhand comment about the Burning Man Festival:

Burning Man doesn't come to grief, but Burning Man has a cabal of hardened, experienced cadres, it only lasts three days, and it's swarming with cops. Burning Man is organization disguised as licence. If bikers started beating and knifing naked people at Burning Man they'd be jumped on by Danger Rangers and Nevada cops with guns.

Burning Man is a party, not a city-state.

07 November 2003

John Holbo: Dead Right

Rescuing a classic from linkrot. It is one among a handful of key writings which brought me to a proper understanding of conservatism.

November 07, 2003

John & Belle Have A Blog
Dead Right

A fortnight ago Josh Marshall recommended his ‘two best political books’: Michael Lind’s Up From Conservatism (1996) and David Frum’s Dead Right (1994). That David Frum? Off to library went I. (And checked out Lind, too. Pretty good.) I can see why Marshall finds Frum’s book … interesting. Its thesis is clearly stated in the final chapter’s final paragraph:

“Conservatives suffer a very different political problem from liberals these days. Avowed liberals have a difficult time winning power in this country; avowed conservatives do not. You no longer get far in public life by preaching that the poor are poor because someone else is not poor, or that criminals can be rehabilitated, or that American troops should get their orders from the United Nations. There’s no liberal Rush Limbaugh. But exercising power — that is a very different business. When conservatism’s glittering generalities, “you are overtaxed,” turn into legislative specifics, “you must pay more to send your kid to the state university,” we run into as much trouble in midsession as the liberals do at election time. Twelve years of twisting and struggling to escape this snare have just entangled us ever more deeply in it, until we have arrived at the unhappy destination this book describes. Is there a way out? Only one: conservative intellectuals should learn to care a little less about the electoral prospects of the Republican Party, indulge less in policy cleverness and ethnic demagoguery, and do what intellectuals of all descriptions are obliged to do: practice honesty, and pay the price.” (p. 205)

Frum’s conception of liberals as unhappy until there’s a paroled murderer and UN bluehelmet on every corner — is subject to doubt. But we pass over in silence; the man, to his credit, does not mince words about the faults of his party. Chapter 2 is about the hideousness of Houston, 1992 (the Rep Nat. Conv.): “Wall to Wall Ugly”. Chapter 3 is “The Failure of the Reagan Gambit”, i.e. how Reagan cut taxes but failed to trim the budget, thereby generating deficits that became the business of Democrats to fix. Chapter 4: supply-side economics is not credible. Chapter 5: Bill Bennett is not credible. Chapter 6: Pat Buchanan is the antipodes of credible. Chapter 7, “the Pseudo-Menace of the Religious Right”, is a thoroughly unconvincing apologia, yes. But Chapter 8, “1996” concludes bluntly, as per above.

I read the book with considerable care, not just for the history lesson — indeed I learned a thing or two — but because I was genuinely curious what Frum thinks conservatism looks like in all its glorious and unalloyed philosophical ideal purity, scoured clean and purified of blemishes, flaws, errors, compromises, distortions due to human weakness, money, K Street, the usual suspects. This question interests me, as per recent posts.

Also, many months back I went on a multi-post tear into the NRO. (Goldberg and the Derb, specifically.) What impressed me then was the lack of discernable political philosophy. To adapt the great conservative Carlyle: seldom have I seen someone execute such a shallow dive into such deep water and emerge so muddy. Day in, day out.

I won’t rehearse my gripes of last year. Go read if you care to. The posts hold up OK, which is more than I can say for most of my political posts from last year. My compass is evidently twitchy and unreliable. Wouldn’t advise anyone else to use it. But I do find the following piece of simple woodcraft has its rugged employments: figure out which side of the trees the NRO is growing on. Then head dead-straight in the opposite direction until you hit civilization. (There are honorable exceptions to this rule.)

As I was saying, I read Frum to find out whether he could refute my generally bad impression of the philosophical state of the National Review’s specific brand of conservatism. On the strength of Marshall’s recommendation, and Frum’s evident willingness to take his colleagues to task, I was prepared to be impressed by the rigorous and principled quality of the man’s views, even if I did not share them. At least I was prepared to give the man a fair shake. And I have been mightily disappointed. And this would be a good point to announce and clearly label for what it is the rather heavy-handed rhetorical device I intend to employ throughout the rest of this post. I am going to attribute rather outrageous views to Frum, not because I actually think he holds them but because I think he does NOT. These outrageous views are the views he WOULD hold if, perchance, he upheld and investigated only the most immediate ramifications of the bits and snippets of philosophy he espouses. My accusation, then, is this: the man thinks he has a conservative philosophy; it seems to me he does not.

And this post is too damn long, I’m warning you. Just started typing and didn’t stop. It’s probably pretty approximate at points. Which is bad. Oh, well. Here goes. Carpe diem and caveat emptor.

Let’s start at the very beginning (a very good place to start):

“Since it’s formation in the early 1950’s, the intellectual movement known as American conservatism has stood for two overarching principles: anticommunism abroad and radical reduction in the size, cost, and bossiness of the federal government at home. Anticommunism has lost most of its zest, for the time being anyway. The bossiness of government might have seemed to be an issue with staying power, but conservatives have tiered of it all that same. The country’s leading conservative politicians and intellectuals may attack this or that ridiculous feature of overweening government, they may propose this or that more or less libertatian alternative to President Clinton’s plan to reorganize the American medical system, [remember in the olden days — 1993 -when we all seemed foredoomed to have national health care?] but radical criticism of the very idea that Washington should extract and redistribute one-quarter of the nation’s wealth has simply petered out. The single-parent family; tumbling educational standards; immigration; crime; ethnic balkanization — the conservative magazines and conservative conversation bubble with ferment over these. About morality and nationality, conservatives have a lot to say. But their fervor for eliminating the progressive income tax and the redistribution of wealth via Washington has cooled, when it has not disappeared altogether.” (p. 1)

What is your impression at this point? I’m thinking: economic libertarianism. The man thinks the social and cultural issues are tasty, yes, but incidental. Appearances can be deceiving, however.

“The new topics could well enhance conservatism’s appeal. Social conservatism is potentially more popular than economic conservatism. But severed from economic conservatism, social conservatism too easily degenerates into mere posturing. The force driving the social trends that offend conservatives, from family breakup to unassimilated immigration, is the welfare function of modern government. Attempting to solve these social problems while government continues to exacerbate them is like coping with a sewer main explosition by bolting all the manhole covers to the pavement. Overweening government may not be the sole cause of America’s maladies. But without overweening government, none would rage as fiercely as it now does. The nearly 1$ trillion the federal government spends each year on social services and income maintenance — and the additional hundreds of billions spent by the states — is a colossal lure tempting citizens to reckless. Remove those alluring heaps of money, and the risks of personal misconduct would again deter almost everyone, as they did before 1933 and even 1965.”

It’s a bit — um, ripe — to analogize immigrants and single-parent families directly to sewage. Nevertheless, this can still be read as more or less pure economic libertarianism (with just a layer of slime on top.) What ‘offends’ conservatives about the welfare state is that it is economically inefficient: it destroys value by systematically encouraging masses of people to behave in reckless, value-destroying ways, which ultimately hurts those masses themselves. The cost of maintaining the safety net eventually frays even the satefy net, and then you’ve got nothing. Of course, this is putting the thesis rather crudely and ignoring numerous variants. But never mind that. It turns out economic inefficiency isn’t what ‘offends’ conservatives after all, at least not Frum.

“The great, overwhelming fact of a capitalist economy is risk. Everyone is at constant risk of the loss of his job, or of the destruction of his business by a competitor, or of the crash of his investment portfolio. Risk makes people circumspect. It disciplines them and teaches them self-control. Without a safety net, people won’t try to vault across the big top. Social security, student loans, and other government programs make it far less catastrophic than it used to be for middle-class people to dissolve their families. Without welfare and food stamps, poor people would cling harder to working-class respectability than they do not.”

The thing that makes capitalism good, apparently, is not that it generates wealth more efficiently than other known economic engines. No, the thing that makes capitalism good is that, by forcing people to live precarious lives, it causes them to live in fear of losing everything and therefore to adopt — as fearful people will — a cowed and subservient posture: in a word, they behave ‘conservatively’. Of course, crouching to protect themselves and their loved ones from the eternal lash of risk precisely won’t preserve these workers from risk. But the point isn’t to induce a society-wide conformist crouch by way of making the workers safe and happy. The point is to induce a society-wide conformist crouch. Period. A solid foundaton is hereby laid for a desirable social order.

Let’s call this position (what would be an evocative name?) ‘dark satanic millian liberalism’: the ethico-political theory that says laissez faire capitalism is good if and only if under capitalism the masses are forced to work in environments that break their will to want to ‘jump across the big top’, i.e. behave in a self-assertive, celebratorily individualist manner. Ergo, a dark satanic millian liberal will tend to oppose capitalism to the degree that, say, Virginia Postrel turns out to be right about capitalism ushering in a bright new age of individual liberty, in which people try new things for the sheer joy of realizing themselves, etc., etc.

Let’s be even more explicit about this. Postrel (for example) is like (say) J.S. Mill, insofar as she thinks freedom is good because it is required by, and conduces to, ‘pagan self-assertion’. I quote a passage from Isaiah Berlin’s “Two Concepts of Liberty”:

“What made the protection of individual liberty so sacred to Mill? In his famous essay he declares that, unless the individual is left to live as he wishes in ‘the part [of his conduct] which merely concerns himself,’ civilization cannot advance; the truth will not, for lack of a free market of ideas, come to light; there will be no scope for spontaneity, originality, genius, for mental energy, for moral courage. Society will be crushed by the weight of ‘collective mediocrity’. Whatever is rich and diversified will be crushed by the weight of custom, by men’s constant tendency to conformity, which breeds only ‘withered’ capacities, ‘pinched and hidebound’, ‘cramped and dwarfed’ human beings. ‘Pagan self-assertion’ is as worthy as ‘Christian self-denial’. ‘All errors which [a man] is likely to commit against advice and warning, are far outweighed by the evil of allowing others to constrain him to what they deem his good.”

Of course, many thinkers have argued that the kind of ‘negative liberty’ characteristic of the operations laissez faire capitalism precisely does not produce ‘pagan self-assertion’. To the contrary, it produces — if not mass misery — then at least withered, pinched, hidebound dwarf personalities. The thing to note about Frum’s position is that it is, as it were, a lower synthesis of the standard defenses and criticisms of capitalism. It assumes the worst-case scenario predications about capitalism's tendency to destroy individual spirit, and advocates capitalism on that basis. (As a great conservative once toasted: “Gentlemen! To Evil!”)

But isn’t this a horribly uncharitable reading I have just confabulated? Couldn’t Frum be saying, in the above passage, nothing more noxious than that the severe threat of punishment for risky behavior is just one cog of the mighty engine of economic efficiency — growth, wealth? He could be, but he isn’t. Here is the acid test: would he really be willing to go so far as to sacrifice economic prosperity expressly for the sake of breaking the spirit of ‘pagan self-assertion’ that causes one to wish ‘to leap across the big top’?

Why, yes — yes, he would. Because he believes 1) that big government devastates potential prosperity; and 2):

“For most conservatives [including, by implication, Frum], shrinking government has always been a political means rather than an end in itself. The end was the preservation of the American heritage, and beyond that, the heritage of the classical and Judeo-Christian (or Christian toute court) West. If that heritage could be preserved without fighting an ugly and probably doomed battle to shrink government, most conservatives would drop the size-of-government issue with hardly a pang.” (p. 13)

But is Frum really serious when he says this? And what exactly is he saying? Tolerating marginal economic inefficiency — if the voters bang on the ballot box, bawling for it — is not the same thing as advocating widespread economic misery (and the voters be damned). Surely Frum is at most guilty of insufficiently vigorous advocacy of prosperity. He can’t be expressly advocating the lack thereof. Oddly, there are various strong hints that he is. Example:

“Contemporary conservatives still value that old American character. William Bennett in his lectures reads admiringly from an account of the Donner party written by a survivor that tells the story in spare, stoic style. He puts the letter down and asks incredulously, “Where did those people go?” But if you believe that early Americans possessed a fortitude that present-day Americans lack, and if you think the loss is an important one, then you have to think hard about why that fortitude disappeared. Merely exhorting Americans to show more fortitude is going to have about as much effect on them as a lecture from the student council president on school spirit. Reorganizing the method by which they select and finance their schools won’t do it either, and neither will the line-item veto, or discharge petitions, or entrusting Congress with the power to deny individual NEA grants, or court decisions strinking down any and all acts of politically correct tyranny emanating from the offices of America’s deans of students — worthwhile though each and every one of those things may be. It is socials that form character, as another conservative hero, Alexis de Tocqueville, demonstrated, and if our characters are now less virtuous than formerly, we must identify in what way our social conditions have changed in order to understand why.

Of course there have been hundreds of such changes — never mind since the Donner party’s day, just since 1945 … But the expansion of government is the only one we can do anything about.

All of these changes have had the same effect: the emancipation of the individual appetite from restrictions imposed on it by limited resources, or religious dread, or community disapproval, or the risk of disease or personal catastophe.” (p. 202-3)

Words fail me; links not much better. The Donner party? Where did all these people go? Into each other, to a dismaying extent. A passage from one of those moving, stoical diary entries:

“… Mrs. Murphy said here yesterday that [she] thought she would commence on Milt and eat him. I don't think she has done so yet, [but] it is distresing. The Donno[r]s told the California folks that they [would] commence to eat the dead people 4 days ago, if they did not succeed in finding their cattle then under ten or twelve feet of snow & did not know the spot or near it, I suppose they have [cannibalized] … ere this time."

The stoical endurance of the Donner party in the face of almost unimaginable suffering is indeed moving. The perseverance of the survivors is a lasting testament to the endurance of the human spirit. (On the other hand, the deaths of all who stoically refused to cannibalize their fellows might be deemed an equal, perhaps a greater testament.) But it is by no means obvious — some further demonstration would seem in order — that lawmakers and formulators of public policy should therefore make concerted efforts to emulate the Donner’s dire circumstances. What will the bumper-stickers say? “It’s the economy, stupid! We need to bury it under ten to twelve feet of snow so that we will be forced to cannibalize the dead and generally be objects of moral edification to future generations.”

I think we are beginning to see why Frum feels that his philosophy may be a loser come election time. I think the Donner party — who, be it noted, set out seeking economic prosperity in the West, not snow and starvation — would not vote Republican on the strength of William Bennett’s comfortable edification at the spectacle of their abject misery. (“Let’s start with the fat one over there in the corner, playing the slots. We can eat off him for a week. See how he likes it.”)

To put what is surely rather an obvious point yet another way: if the Donner party is really what you want, the policy riddle (how to reproduce these conditions, since the Donner party was not political, per se?) already has an answer: Stalinism. The Gulag Archipelago opens with a morally edifying tale of misery and starvation, like so:

“In 1949 some friends and I came upon a noteworthy news item in Nature, a magazine of the Academy of Sciences. It reported in tiny type that in the course of excavations on the Kolyma River a subterranean ice lens had been discovered which has actually a frozen stream — and in it were found frozen specimens of prehistoric fauna some tens of thousands of years old. Whether fish or salamander, these were preserved in so fresh a state, the scientific correspondent reported, that those present immediately broke open the ice encasing the specimens and devoured them with relish on the spot.”

As Solzhenitsyn observes, the publication of this tale was a bit of an official slip; for it opened a window on “the amazing country of Gulag”, inhabited by the freakish zek peoples.

“We understood because we ourselves were the same kind of people as those present at that event. We, too, were from that powerful tribe of zeks, unique on the face of the earth, the only people who could devour prehistoric salamander with relish.”

I think we can all agree that Solzhenitsyn’s book is among the most moving testament’s to the living human spirit ever committed to paper. I think we can all also agree that one shouldn’t inflict suffering in an attempt to replicate Solzhenitsyn. Why not is a nice question, but for the sake of abbreviating the present argument let’s just take as read: Stalinism bad. From this premise it follows that Frum’s (and Bennett’s) conservative point of view is somewhat confused; because their point of view implies that Stalinism will be good. It produced economic misery, yes; but by hypothesis we don’t care about economics; Stalinism produced a great deal of stoical, enduring good character in the form of resistance to itself. The goal of government, Frum says, is inculcating good character; and lectures won’t do it; you need to right social conditions. Ergo, the gulag is good public policy. And snow helps.

At this point let me step back and make quite clear: I don’t actually think Frum is a crypto-Stalinist, let alone a Stalinist. I don’t think he is actually advocating the intentional infliction of dire economic hardship and suffering — let alone cannibalism — on the American people for the sake of hardening them up, stiffening the national spine. I think if there were some Americans caught in the snowy mountains these days, he’d advocating sending in the helicopters and so forth — and he wouldn’t order them to stand off, just filming the poor schmucks eating each other for Frum’s subsequent viewing pleasure and moral edification.

Which is to say: Frum is not thinking about what he’s saying. Because what he is saying more or less instantaneously implies an indefinitely large cloud of things he really — really, really — doesn’t think.

We are at this point very near the heart of what Frum styles his ‘conservative philosophy’. But at the heart of it is a sort of proto-cognitive itch; a sensibility, or feeling, or subconscious reflex. Orwell talks about this in chapter 12 of The Road to Wigan Pier, incidentally: the naturalness of hostility to the softening that results from modern machine civilization. That’s the feeling, he explains. But, of course, next comes the thought.

“So long as the machine is there, one is under an obligation to use it. No one draws water from the well when he can turn on the tap … Deliberately to revert to primitive methods, to use archaic tools, to put silly difficulties in your own way, would be a piece of dilettantism, of pretty-pretty arty and craftiness. It would be like solemnly sitting down to eat your dinner with stone implements. Revert to handwork in a machine age, and you are back in Ye Old Tea Shoppe or the Tudor villa with the sham beams tacked to the wall.”

That’s Frum in a nutshell. Had the feeling. Stalled out before he got the thought, right in front of ‘Ye Old Conferfative Philofophie & Non-Load-Bearing Architectonic Façade’. (Indeed, this seems to me an appropriate shingle to hang outside the offices of the National Review. And the next time someone over there has the temerity to quote Orwell piously. Take it down: whack!)

Exactly how is this Frum? You don’t drive west through the snowy mountains in covered wagons, gee-yawing a hundred head of cattle. You rent a U-Haul and follow the interstate highway system (thank you, federal government!) Likewise, the welfare state is a machine. It exists. If it were abolished, it would still exist in potentia. It can be built. A number of versions of it exist around the world today. There are reasons not to use a great many of these, since they have a demonstrated tendency to guzzle economic efficiency. And a number of them are just disagreeably interfering, perhaps. On the other hand, it seems that the majority of the voters prefer some sort of safety net to none. They don’t want to shoulder 10-12 feet of snow worth of risk themselves. And a machine exists to shoulder that risk. Are we going to use the machine or not? Damn straight we will! So the argument is reduced to: cost-benefit analysis, and weighing of diverse preferences and degrees of risk-aversion, so forth. There are a lot of technical questions and doubts, and serious arguments about people’s values to be had and hammered away at and ultimately voted up or down. Meanwhile Frum is clean out in the cold. He doesn’t disapprove of the welfare state on economic grounds, so he will not be a participant in these rational debates about costs and benefits. He wants to abolish the welfare state on pretty-pretty arty crafty aesthetic grounds. (Stretching a point, these might be moral grounds. But they are largely aesthetic, I think.)

Note how Frum’s pretty-pretty — “aren’t the hungry strugglers picturesque!” — perspective is indeed that of an aesthetically-minded spectator. And a very asymmetric perspective it is. Just as a movie-goer may enjoy watching all the grunts struggle heroically forward through the mud on the silver screen — while he himself sinks into a soft seat, 64 oz. Bladder-Buster Coke and popcorn ready to hand — Frum would never dream of employing public policy as a means to the good end of hardship for himself. But if it is good for the poor and middle-class to suffer and toil, surely it would do the well-to-do some good as well. We could stiffen upper-classes spines quick by raising the top tax bracket to, say, 95%, while firing all the cops, letting all the criminals out of jail, giving them guns, and busing them to the richest neighborhoods before letting them go. Not a good idea, obviously, but a lot of rich people would learn a lot of important, genuinely meaningful life lessons. And if you sold tickets (or gave them away, financing it all with tax dollars) some folks would be sure to find it aesthetically beguiling. But no. Not a good idea. A very bad idea. Brutality against kulaks and the well-to-do. Not good public policy, however character-building and highly rated as reality TV.

J.S. Mill saw Frum coming a century and a half away. In his essay, “Coleridge”, he writes:

“Take for instance the question how far mankind have gained by civilization. One observer is forcibly struck by the multiplication of physical comforts; the advancement and diffusion of knowledge; the decay of superstition; the facilities of mutual intercourse; the softening of manners; the decline of war and personal conflict; the progressive limitation of the tyranny of the strong over the weak; the great works accomplished throughout the globe by the co-operation of multitudes; and he becomes that very common character, the worshipper of ‘our enlightened age’. Another fixes his attention, not upon the value of these advantages, but upon the high price which is paid for them; the relaxation of individual energy and courage; the loss of proud and self-relying independence; the slavery of so large a portion of mankind to artificial wants; their effeminate shrinking form even the shadow of pain; the dull unexciting monotony of their lives, and the passionless insipidity, and absence of any marked individuality, in their characters; the contrast between the narrow mechanical understanding, produced by a life spent in executing by fixed rules a fixed task, and the varied powers of the man of the woods, whose subsistence and safety depend at each instant upon his capacity of extemporarily adapting means to ends … One would attends to these things, and to these exclusively, will be apt to infer that savage life is preferable to civilized; that the work of civilization should as far as possible be undone, and from the premises of Rousseau, he will not improbably be led to the practical conclusions of Rousseau’s disciple, Robespierre.”

The thing that is in fact keeping Frum from turning into the moral equivalent of Robespierre — IS THAT HE DOESN’T ACTUALLY MEAN IT. I doubt he actually approves of staging Donner parties.

What Frum has got, to repeat, is just a feeling that the kids these days are getting a bit soft. Everyone feels this way sometimes, of course — since it’s true. But some people have thoughts as well as feelings about this attendant effect of civilization. And so it turns out Lionel Trilling was maybe not such a poor prophet after all, when he wrote way back in 1953: “in the United States at this time liberalism is not only the dominant but even the sole intellectual tradition;” for the anti-liberals do not, by and large, “express themselves in ideas but only in action or in irritable mental gestures which seek to resemble ideas.” Irritable mental gestures. Yep. Frum.

OK. Trilling too strong. I do concede there are serious conservative thinkers and intellectuals. I make a point of reading — and I quite enjoy reading — quite a number of quite conservative writers and thinkers, and I hope I am smart enough to learn from them when I should. But it is seriously easy to pretend you’ve got a conservative philosophy when really you’re armed with nothing but irritable gestures.

We all like watching movies about rugged tough guys (well, most of us: I do). But — write this on a 3 x 5 card and consult as necessary — it is absurd to advocate that the government intentionally impose hardship on the people, against their will, for the sake of toughening them up.

Now what would Frum say to all of this (after he calmed down and stopped just cursing my name)? It is important to pursue this question because — I have admitted this already — I have just spilled a lot of ink over what Frum implies but obviously doesn’t intend. So it sounds worse than it is: multiple adversions to Stalinism, so forth. To repeat: I am quite sure Frum is not a closet Stalinist. What is he?

Well, for starters he would strenuously object to the numerous hints dropped above that he advocates producing a broken-spirited society of cringing conformists. He would explain that he has an ideal not of child laborers toiling in dark, satanic mills. He has an ideal of rugged, self-reliant individualism which is, however, not exactly a ‘jump across the big top’ sort of individualism. (“I hate swingers!” said the man in the movie as he threw a lamp in the hot tub.) But, he would insist: that doesn’t make this ideal fawning lickspittlism and flinchophilia. (Monopoly Capitalist Boss twirling his handlebar moustaches and cracking the whip — Ha! Ha!) Frum would object that he talks about the Donner party not because he likes starvation and snow but because, as per the Mill passage, he likes crafty, stoically resourceful, lean and hardened woodsman-types.

It is perfectly fair to retort that the objection still stands: at best this is risably twee nonsense; faux-rusticated arty-woodcrafty tourist fantasy. At worst it is bonkers: blow up the cushy offices; blow up the factories. Drive the slackers and liberals back into the woods to eke out a living from roots and berries. That’s exceedingly asinine public policy, to put it mildly.

Nevertheless, there is something a bit more complicated at work. I’ve just been reading Empson’s fine and rather neglected literary critical masterpiece, Some Versions of Pastoral. Fine book. The first chapter is “Proletarian Literature”. A relevant bit:

“As I write [1950], the government has just brought out a poster giving the numbers of men back at work, with a large photograph of a skilled worker using a chisel. He is a stringy but tough, vital but not over-strong, Cockney type, with a great deal of the genuine but odd refinement of the English lower middle class. This is very strong Tory propaganda: one feels it is fair to take him as a type of the English skilled worker, and it cuts out the communist feelings about the worker merely to look at him. To accept the picture is to feel that the skilled worker’s interests are bound up with his place in the class system and the success of British foreign policy in finding markets. There is an unfortunate lack of a word here. To call such a picture a ‘symbol’, like a sign in mathematics, is to ignore the sources of its power; to call it a ‘myth’ is to make an offensive suggestion that the author is superior to common feeling. I do not mean to say that such pictures are nonsense becaused they are myths; the facts of the life of a nation, for instance the way public opinion swings round, are very strange indeed, and probably a half-magical idea is the quickest way to the truth. People who consider that the Worker group of sentiments is misleading in contemporary politics tend to use the word ‘romantic’ as a missile; unless they merely mean ‘false’ this is quite off the point; what they ought to do is to produce a rival myth, like the poster. In calling it mythical I mean that complex feelings, involving all kinds of distant matters, are put into it as a symbol, with an implication ‘this is the right worker to select and keep in mind as the type,’ and that among them is an obscure magical feeling ‘while he is like this he is Natural and that will induce Nature to make us prosperous.’”

This strikes me as sharp cultural criticism; and I believe Empson hereby enables me to peg Frum’s (American) Toryism to the board. First, the stringy, hard-bitten-but-loyal-to-the-system ideal worker. None of those beefy, beaming, jut-jawed Soviet-style proles for us, thank you much.

Obviously our ideal worker may have trouble making his way today, armed only with chisel, but substitute some implement more suitable for the information age and you have Frum’s (and Bennett’s) ideal. When they say ‘Donner party’ they are thinking: hard-bitten and hard-nosed. Not starving, but made tough by a life lived right on the edge of failure. Inclined to stick it out in an unhappy marriage. Not a counter-culture type. Not asking anything from those above. Not having a lot of sympathy to spare for those beneath. Interests ultimately narrowly aligned with those of the upper-classes.

But that’s not the brilliant part. The brilliant part is Empson's correct perception (I think it is correct, anyway) 1) that lots of thoroughly disparate matters are hereby artfully collected and crammed into one simple image; 2) an illicit feeling is generated that economics is, magically, a function not so much of social or cultural arrangements as aesthetic ones. There is a potent aesthetic to Empson’s ideal worker, and Frum and Bennett are in the grips of an analogous aesthetic. And the feeling is: if only we achieve aesthetic satisfaction here, economics will take care of itself.

That this sort of flagrantly cargo-cultic turn of proto-thought is possible — just build him, and the economy will come — is very striking.

I think both these tendencies of thought strongly at work in Frum’s book. First, the compulsive bundling and cramming:

"Neoconservatives may roll their eyes at conservatives’ fondness for sweeping moral assertions. Conservative rhetoric can sound a little overbroad, if not positively bats, to nonconservative ears. Conservatives, however, see the things they dislike in the contemporary world — abortion, the slippage of educational standards, foreign policy weakness, federal aid to handicapped schoolchildren — as all connected, as expressions of a single creed, a creed of which liberalism is just one manifestation."

This passage cracked me up. (Belle was moved to inquire solicitiously: “Are you OK, honey?”) It is, of course, precisely because people know some conservatives see all these things as connected that some people think some conservatives are bats. (If it thinks like a moonbat, and it talks like a moonbat, and if it comes right out and says it’s a moonbat, it’s a moonbat.)

Seriously, here’s a cautionary lesson taught by the 1960’s (you’d think conservatives could learn such things): just because you feel that everything is, like, so connected in a mysterious way, doesn’t make it so. And for damn sure you don’t have the right to bother other people with constant reports of your weird but strong intuitions of, like, total interconnectedness.

It almost makes me feel sorry for neo-cons: trying to hold decent seminars on foreign-policy — US military posture in the Middle East, etc. ,etc.; always having to step on the conservative faithful to keep them from breaking in with ‘deeply-connected’ tirades against wheelchair-ramps in schools. Tinfoil hat stuff. Yeesh.

Far more interesting, actually, is the matter of feeling — not thinking, to be sure — that good social and cultural aesthetics will produce good economics. Just get the right sort of people — i.e. the people that appeal to conservative sensibilities — and somehow the economy will be fine. If you like it, call it natural. After all, if it wasn't natural, why would you like it? As Empson says: ‘while he is like this he is Natural and that will induce Nature to make us prosperous.’

Frum on economics is a very strange business. I quoted him already to the effect that conservatives would be happy to drop the demand for smaller government — i.e. the demand for an efficient economy — if they got what they wanted socially and culturally. One might simply be suspicious that he doesn’t mean it. Conservatives may say they would be willing to be taxed in a good cause. But that’s just a polite way of saying, ‘no, I like my money fine where it is.’ (Insert dsquared’s favorite quote here.) But I actually think the truth is more like: Frum has the strong feeling that if somehow his social and cultural demands were met, the economics would (magically) take care of itself. I think he envisions, as it were, the ideal lower-class / middle-class worker — sort of like the worker Empson sees on the poster, but suitably updated — and he thinks: no way that guy’s going to be poor. He’s one hard, conservative bastard (no offense intended.)

This sentiment or intuition or feeling (whatever you call it) produces a strangely hypertrophic concern with what seem (to me anyway) like rather ornamental details:

“If I am bearded, and I notice that my boss and the last four men in my section to win promotion are clean-shaven, I will find myself slowly nudged toward the barbershop. If the owner of the gas station across the road from mine smiles a lot, and I don’t, I will find myself forcing a cheerful manner myself, no matter how snarly I may inwardly feel. People who do not have to work for a living, however, can indulge themselves in a hundred little peculiarities of behavior — one reason that the English upper class is so famously odd. Millions of Americans now live as free from the pressure to conform as any English lord, thanks either to the direct receipt of welfare or to civil service employment where promotion is by seniority and firing is unheard of. The fact, as much as any fashion change, explains the sudden flaunting of ethnic difference in manner and dress that so distresses Patrick Buchanan in his native city. Relatively few vice presidents at Proctor & Gamble would dare wear a kente cloth or keffiyeh; nobody who intends to earn very much of a living in the polymer business can hope to get away with not learning English; but city hall employees and welfare mothers can do both.

So the cultural conservatives are simply deluding themselves when they hope for escape from the unpleasant task of resisting every enlargement of the ambit of government action and trying, when opportunity presents itself, to reduce that ambit.” (p. 196)

This is supposed to sound sober and sensible. If cultural conditions are functions of economics, you can’t change the culture without altering the economics. So conservatives must keep up the titanic, colossal, epic, probably cosmically doomed and tragic economic struggle to keep government small … so people will not dress funny or wear their hair in hairy ways? Sort of wimpy, as ragnaroks go. Notable disproportion here between means and the wished-for end. Even if you are the sort of person who feels deeply offended by funny, ethnic clothes (we're off the deep end) — even if you think it is anything like your business to dictate fashion sense to everyone around you (we're so off the deep end) — how could you possibly think it was so important as all that? And yet immediately we are off and running about after the bourgeois virtues, all dying out: thrift, diligence, prudence, sobriety, fidelity, and orderliness. I won’t bother to quote. Why can I not exhibit all these virtues beneath and/or behind a beard, kente cloth and/or keffiyeh? Frum seems to find it too obvious to bear arguing that the trick is impossible. (Yet he can’t actually think that.) Does Frum seriously believe there are no shrewd, sober businessmen in those parts of the world where businessmen wear beards and keffiyehs and kente cloths? (Obviously he doesn’t. That’s crazy.) So what does he think? I think he just has a powerful feeling that: things ought to be a certain way. And if they are that way, everything will be all right.


Bearded Guy: I like my beard.

Frum: You should shave it.

BG: Why?

Frum: Because it should have been the case that you were too afraid to grow it.

BG: But I wasn’t.

Frum: But you should have been.

BG: Why?

Frum: Because you are wrecking the culture.

BG: Why?

Frum: Because the culture will decay and then the economy will fall apart and we’ll all be poor.

BG: Because of my beard?

Frum: Just think about it. Our economy depends on a healthy culture.

BG: But you don’t even care about the economy. You said you don’t.

Frum: I wish you hadn’t mentioned that.

BG: But I did.

Frum: Look, if you shave the beard, everything will be … better.

BG: You’re a moonbat.

Frum: It’s all related to … foreign policy and wheelchair access in public school, in ways that … would take a long time to explain.

BG: Get away from me!

Frum: Look. Just shave your beard!


Seinfeld had his Soup Nazi. Frum is sort of a Suit Nazi. (OK, that’s too mean.) A kente cloth-free zone. An advocate of radical (what shall we call it?) sartorauthoritarianism. Society and culture conservatively dictate everyone’s dress code down to a whisker.

And why?

Because otherwise you wouldn’t be (wait for it) FREE!

Let’s step back and take in the big picture. Near as I can figure:

Frum cleaves to a radically elitist conception according to which, ideally, a narrowly-conceived set of social and cultural ideals are imposed on a potentially recalcitrant and resistant population. Why? Because he has the philosophical clarity of mind to see that the alternative is unthinkably terrible: a radically elitist conception according to which, ideally, a narrowly-conceived set of social and cultural ideals are imposed on a potentially recalcitrant and resistant population. Nothing that fits that description could possibly be good, obviously.

This passage that underscores the general economic situation, while moving us on to the point about freedom

“… It was awareness of the social consequences of social services, not mere Gradgrind-like zeal for economic efficiency, that initially convinced conservatives to resist the expansion of the welfare functions of government. From its beginning, the American convservative movement has devoted itself to one supreme mission: to warn the country that it had embarked on the wrong path.”

Frum (and other conservatives, according to Frum) are motivated primarily by Gradgrind-like zeal for efficient eradication of social and cultural individualism. (Thank goodness the man isn’t working for our economic benefit! Whew.)

Some hemming and hawing about whether the trouble started in the 14th Century or more recently. Bring, blang, bling. Whenever. The evil decision was made:

“It was a decision in favor of moral arrogance, in favor of the radical reconstruction of the world along lines suggested by whatever reformist or revolutionary ideology happened to hold power at the moment. Moral arrogance inspired the French and Russian revolutions. The same moral arrogance, conservatives believed, lay at the very core of post-New Deal liberalism and of everything else that conservatives thought themselves to be defying when, in William F. Buckley’s memorable metaphor, they took their stand athwart history to shout “Stop!”” (p. 3-4)

Luckily, we have conservatives holding the line against moral arrogance with their (Frum’s own words) “sweeping moral claims” and deep convictions about how everything is interrelated — kente cloths, handicapped access, not enough British history in school, foreign policy — and only they hold the secret key of knowledge. It’s. All. Connected. (You may not be able to see it. But that's just because you are benighted.)

“It is not new,” Whittaker Chambers observed of this creed in another seminal conservative book, Witness. “It is, in fact, man’s second oldest faith. Its promise was whispered in the first days of the Creation under the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil: ‘Ye shall be as gods.””

Not conservatism — oh, no! liberalism! And what is it that makes liberals so authoritarian and arrogant? Well, Frum doesn’t quite out and say it, but it appears to have something to do with democracy and asking people what they want rather than deciding for them, forcing it down their throats (and making them like it):

“Viewers of the cable talk shows that proliferated in the 1980’s have seen this scene a hundred times: two pundits will be haranguing each other about some political point, and one will try to clinch his case by announcing triumphantly, “The American people don’t agree with you!” Strictly speaking, this shouldn’t be much of an argument — it begs the reply, “Well, then, the American people are wrong.” But it’s always felt to be deadly. In a democratic culture, feeling yourself at one with a crowd of people is a joy as intense as receiving the king’s soiled handkerchief was at Verseilles. Having tasted that joy in the early years of the Reagan presidency, conservatives have become addicted to it. Their message has adapted accordingly.

Conservatism has always been in danger of devolving from a philosophy of limited government to an ideology of middle-class self-interest.” (p. 8)

In short, conservatism, properly conceived, is not a philosophy whose practical implications are in the material interests of the middle-class. More of the same vein:

“What could be more tempting to a politician than to teach voters to blame taxes and regulations not on the requirements of the middle class but on the inordinate demands of the poor? What could be more reckless than to attack bloated education, highway, and farm budgets, which largely benefit the middle-class? Trouble is, the refusal to take that apparently reckless course dooms all other conservative hopes to futility. If you cannot say “no” to middle-class constituents, you cannot lighten the crushing load of government upon society. And it is that burden, in turn, that makes the social problems that conservatives fret about so intractable.” (p. 8)

Since things that are in the economic interest of the poor and middle-class can hardly constitute crushing economic burdens on them, I think it is fair to gloss ‘society’ in this context as follows: those earning more than $150,000 a year. A somewhat eccentric usage.

In short, Frum actually thinks that conservatism means forcing the poor and middle-class to sacrifice government programs whose existence is, or may be, in their economic interest. And why? Near as I can figure, for the sake of making over the poor and middle-class into more agreeable objects of aesthetic contemplation for (wealthy) conservatives, whose tastes run to: Donner party-like look-alike doughty leatherstocking hard-bitten frontier-type workers (respectful hats in hand.) And the word for this aesthetic transformation is: making people free. And somehow the economy is going to be OK.

Of course we could go around once again with Frum protesting that in fact these bloated government programs are not in the interests of the poor and middle-class because they are ultimately economically inefficient. The problem with this is that — even if it is true — it isn’t what Frum has been saying for 200 pages. I've got no problem with economic libertarianism. At any rate, I can reason with such folk. But Frum is a cultural and a social conservative. What's his philosophy? I’ve had enough of this. I’m stopping.

The funny thing about this book is: it isn’t nearly as bad I just made it sound. I don’t think Frum is obsessed with beards or anything, actually. He sometimes seems like a pretty sharp guy. The middle chapters — full of history and policy detail, so forth — are quite cogent. Just the main chapters have problems. Frum has written a book about the need for a reflective, conservative philosophy. And: that’s the one thing he hasn’t got. He just has no clue why he is a conservative, or why being one might be a good idea — or even what ‘conservatism’ ought to mean. Whenever he starts trying to talk about that stuff, his mind just goes blank and he fantasizes about shaving beards and the Donner party.

Those folks at the NRO are often weird.


November 8, 2003

Mill and Nietzsche on Frum

Thanks to everyone who linked approvingly to last night’s post. I honestly didn’t think it would be so popular. I was just working something out to my own moderate satisfaction. I figured the inordinate length would ward off all but a few fanatic ASD (attention surplus disorder) sufferers. Honestly, the thing has overstatements and distinctly imperfect formulations and, in an attack piece, that's not such a good thing. Clean kills are humane. Winging the beast and just letting it stagger around gouting blood in front of a crowd? Ah, well. I did my best. Let me make a few points on Frum's behalf. Josh Marshall writes in his original post: “[Frum has] been kind enough to help me understand certain aspects of the Iraq-hawks' thinking on democratization and change in the Middle East.” No doubt there is a touch of irony here, since I'm sure Marshall does not agree with Frum's views on Iraq. But it makes perfect sense to me that Marshall would have respect for Frum as a worthy interlocutor regarding complex foreign policy and political questions. The man is smart. And he is most definitely not ignorant. Most of the chapters of his book are interesting to read not just as fodder for overgrown screeds like mine but for the information and analysis they contain. (It’s not heavy duty stuff, by any means. And I violently disagree with much of it. But it's substantive, as popular political books go.) Frum is a shrewd observer and analyst of many of the foibles and failings of his fellow conservatives. The portions of his book I seize upon and savage are comparatively small bits from the very beginning and the very end. But: they are the important bits. They are the reasons for all the rest. If they turn out to be utterly hollow — and they do — the whole balloon just deflates with a gentle, flatulent sigh.

My post reads sort of angry. Actually I wasn’t angry at all when I wrote it. The urgent, hopping from foot to foot quality was just me trying to find the words. As usual, Mill put it well, well in advance. I quoted this passage in a post weeks ago, actually, but it’s worth requoting:

All that makes existence valuable to any one, depends on the enforcement of restraints upon the actions of other people. Some rules of conduct, therefore, must be imposed, by law in the first place, and by opinion on many things which are not fit subjects for the operation of law. What these rules should be, is the principal question in human affairs; but if we except a few of the most obvious cases, it is one of those which least progress has been made in resolving. No two ages, and scarcely any two countries, have decided it alike; and the decision of one age or country is a wonder to another. Yet the people of any given age and country no more suspect any difficulty in it, than if it were a subject on which mankind had always been agreed. The rules which obtain among themselves appear to them self-evident and selfjustifying. This all but universal illusion is one of the examples of the magical influence of custom, which is not only, as the proverb says a second nature, but is continually mistaken for the first. The effect of custom, in preventing any misgiving respecting the rules of conduct which mankind impose on one another, is all the more complete because the subject is one on which it is not generally considered necessary that reasons should be given, either by one person to others, or by each to himself. People are accustomed to believe and have been encouraged in the belief by some who aspire to the character of philosophers, that their feelings, on subjects of this nature, are better than reasons, and render reasons unnecessary. The practical principle which guides them to their opinions on the regulation of human conduct, is the feeling in each person's mind that everybody should be required to act as he, and those with whom he sympathizes, would like them to act. No one, indeed, acknowledges to himself that his standard of judgment is his own liking; but an opinion on a point of conduct, not supported by reasons, can only count as one person's preference; and if the reasons, when given, are a mere appeal to a similar preference felt by other people, it is still only many people's liking instead of one. To an ordinary man, however, his own preference, thus supported, is not only a perfectly satisfactory reason, but the only one he generally has for any of his notions of morality, taste, or propriety, which are not expressly written in his religious creed; and his chief guide in the interpretation even of that. Men’s opinions, accordingly, on what is laudable or blamable, are affected by all the multifarious causes which influence their wishes in regard to the conduct of others, and which are as numerous as those which determine their wishes on any other subject. Sometimes their reason — at other times their prejudices or superstitions: often their social affections, not seldom their antisocial ones, their envy or jealousy, their arrogance or contemptuousness: but most commonly, their desires or fears for themselves—their legitimate or illegitimate self-interest. Wherever there is an ascendant class, a large portion of the morality of the country emanates from its class interests, and its feelings of class superiority. The morality between Spartans and Helots, between planters and negroes, between princes and subjects, between nobles and roturiers, between men and women, has been for the most part the creation of these class interests and feelings: and the sentiments thus generated, react in turn upon the moral feelings of the members of the ascendant class, in their relations among themselves. Where, on the other hand, a class, formerly ascendant, has lost its ascendency, or where its ascendency is unpopular, the prevailing moral sentiments frequently bear the impress of an impatient dislike of superiority. Another grand determining principle of the rules of conduct, both in act and forbearance which have been enforced by law or opinion, has been the servility of mankind towards the supposed preferences or aversions of their temporal masters, or of their gods. This servility though essentially selfish, is not hypocrisy; it gives rise to perfectly genuine sentiments of abhorrence; it made men burn magicians and heretics. Among so many baser influences, the general and obvious interests of society have of course had a share, and a large one, in the direction of the moral sentiments: less, however, as a matter of reason, and on their own account, than as a consequence of the sympathies and antipathies which grew out of them: and sympathies and antipathies which had little or nothing to do with the interests of society, have made themselves felt in the establishment of moralities with quite as great force.

I quote the whole thing because I think the whole thing — every sentence — is about Frum. He’s a seething mass of potent preferences and aversions, which are after all merely customary observances: some reasonable, most groundless and arbitrary or outdated. But it is intolerable to him to check and see which are which, because he is powerfully attached to the whole set — even the teeny, tiny aesthetic ones. (Cut your hair, damn hippies!) Yet it is necessary for Frum to produce reasons, because he is also powerfully determined others should share his preferences. And he is averse to authoritarianism. He does not wish to impose his mere private preferences tyrannically. As Dostoyevsky’s Underground Man puts it: all should be compelled to bow down before me voluntarily. This entails tortuous, self-deceptive mental gynmastics.

Mill tags out. Nietzsche tags in. (My translation of Gay Science, §29. I posted this one weeks ago as well, as part of what has proven to be my ongoing series on conservatism.)

§29 Add lies. — In France, when the Aristotelian Unities were attacked, hence began to be defended, one could see again something so often seen, but so unsightly: — men lied, made up grounds for these laws, simply to avoid admitting they were used to the laws and no longer wanted them to be different. And so it goes, and always has, within every established morality and religion: the grounds and reasons for a custom are always lies added on only after someone begins to attack the custom and inquire after its justification and point. Tucked away here we find the great dishonesty of conservatives of all ages: they add lies.

This is painfully acute. A perfect example because, after all, the Unities were the tipmost taper on the candelabrum of arbitrariness; even their ancient pedigree a sheer forgery — Aristotle never believed in the Aristotelian Unities. But people were attached to them and defended them to the death with made-up reasons. This is Frum all over. It’s not good enough just to say he hates hippies and leave it at that. Oh, no. There needs to be a huge reason why hating hippies is justified and vastly important and culturally if not cosmically vital.

This psychic need to fabulate reasons for customary preferences is especially striking in Frum - as it would not be in an ignorant dullard — because he is otherwise observant and basically analytic in his approach.

So where does this leave us? Or me, anyway. What do I actually believe? I have been posting about conservatism for some time because I’m a liberal who is very strongly — maybe just temperamentally — inclined to the outlook implicit in Mill’s twin essays on Bentham and Coleridge. The progressive and the conservative mind complement each other. This viewpoint is even more strongly and subtly worked out in Trilling's The Liberal Imagination, one of my favorite volumes of essays. But that's too much for today. I'll just quote again from Nietzsche (Beyond Good and Evil, §155):

Madness is rare in individuals — but in groups, parties, nations it is the rule.

Well, individuals are mostly mad as well. But otherwise he’s totally right.