Paris

I did my level best to not know what Paris Hilton looks like. I succeeded for quite some time, but eventually succumbed to the terrifying undertow of her fame.

I wouldn't bring her up at all, but via Other magazine, I find that Rebecca Traister at Salon delivers a rant about her as a kind of monsterous evil genius that is a little masterpiece of invective.

The other almost-supernatural aspect of Hilton's reign of harebrained horror is the way that she herself remains intact while those around her wither. Hilton is like some kind of Dorian Gray cockroach. While her buddies waste away and collapse and see their careers flushed down the celebrity toilet after having been in her presence, she grows stronger ....

Last week, as she spread like a rash to [Britney] Spears, the scariest image was .... a picture of the young women walking hand-in-hand, Hilton in a T-shirt that read “I'm Paris Hilton, I can do whatever I want.” Next to her, Spears wore a shirt reading, “I'm Paris Hilton, I can do whatever I want.”

She must be stopped. Before she kills.

Be warned that if you click through to the the article itself, you will discover that it includes a number of vulgarities. Inevitable due to the nature of the subject.