28 April 2005

Zombies!

There's a BBC News story going around that's too cool to be believed.

Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul
There has been a small outbreak of "zombism" in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

In fact, I don't believe it; I think it's a little hoax. If you ask for the printable version, or to email it to a friend, you get a completely different story, "Syrian troops vacate Lebanese HQ," which begins with the subhead "Syrian intelligence agents have pulled out of their Lebanese headquarters in the border town of Anjar, reports say." Since the photograph with the story shows troops in front of a wall festooned with Arabic lettering, and the word "Anjar" in Roman letters, it's a fair bet that the printer and email version is the real story.

I fear that the Beeb is going to catch on and fix the story, so I have it archived here.

Update: The URL is bogus, too. Definitely a hoax.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You must be retarded.