04 March 2005

Charles Fleischer

Several years ago, I stumbled across the standup comedy of Charles Fleischer. He's a comic and voice actor best known as the voice of Roger Rabbit. But he had this standup routine that he used to do that was about numbers: a kabbalist komedy kind of kick. With his knack for voices, Fleischer affected this wild-eyed mad scientist growl and demeanor which was very funny.

You don't see a lot of standup numerology. So I was fascinated.

Recently I stumbled across his mostly broken website MonkeyDog.com and was able to rescue the routine for you. It's not quite the same without seeing him doing it, but I've done the best I can with punctuation to try to reproduce the rhythm of the performance.

Read it if you dare.

Moleeds is the mathematical formula that I discovered. It reveals the blueprint of infinity. It can be used as a spiritual and mental discipline to tune yourself to the frequencies of the universe (if it sounds heavy, that's because it is). The last time I performed this on television was on the Tonight Show, when Johnny Carson was still the host. I will continue to present more information for those of you who are interested. What follows is the routine that I performed on the Tonight Show and in clubs during the early ’80s.
I like numbers. Through numbers I have discovered the mathematical structure of the universe which I call “moleeds.”

All things are moleeds: from galaxies to fairlanes, from quasars to trinitrons, from molecules ... to atoms ... to Eves. From protons to neutrons to croutons. All things are moleeds.

Moleeds are based on the numbers 27 and 37. Because one divided by 27 equals point 037. Conversely one divided by 37 equals point 027.

It is on this reciprocal relationship between the numbers 27 and 37 that all things in the universe—and therefore moleeds—are based.

“What the hell was he talking about?”
“I don't know.”
“It sounds like he said ‘moleeds’ to me.”
“Sounds like a lot of monkey womp to me.”

37 is the key to understanding the secret of the moleeds. Thirty seven. Shakespeare wrote 37 plays. There are 37 openings in the speaker part of the telephone. The normal temperature of the human body is 98.6; in centigrade ... 37 degrees. Wayne Newton works 37 weeks out of the year.

You're starting to see it now! Moleeds.

Numbers are the key to understanding moleeds.

One is the loneliest number. Now there are other lonely numbers, like 976-KISS ME. 974-WHIP ME! 975-I'M SO LONELY!

Two eyes two ears two arms two hands [indicating breasts] you know the rest.

Three is the trinity. The Father and the Son and the Holy Moleed. We live in 3 dimensions. There were three kings, three wise men, the three pigs, the 3 Stooges! Curly, Larry and Moe-leed.

For four seasons. Our forefathers used their foresight to search the four corners for four leaf clovers ... they couldn't find any, said some four letter words ... returned forlorn on all fours ... used their forehands and foreheads and forearms to formulate foreplay. Which is fortunate for us.

The ancient word for hand is “five”, just like “digit” still means number as well as finger ... and five, the hand, relates back to one. [A gripping hand moves up and down in a stroking motion]

Life on earth is based on carbon. Carbon is the 6th element. Bee hives are always six sided. Snowflakes are always six sided. Budweisers are always in six packs.

You figure it out.

Seven is the most frequently mentioned number in all of our planet's spiritual as well as historical documents.

There are seven openings in the head. Seven days in the week. Seven notes in the musical scale. Seven chakras in our body. If you avoid the seven deadly sins, you can get to seventh heaven. If you use your seven pillars of wisdom, you can see the seven wonders of the world: across the seven seas to the seven hills of Rome, in a house of seven gables where seven brides and seven brothers watch The Seven Voyages of Sinbad on Channel 7 for the seventh time. Standing for a seventh inning stretch, to scratch a seven year itch, when 007 comes in to remind you that God rested on the 7th day, went to a 7-11, had a 7-UP with the 7 dwarves.


Life on this planet is based on DNA. Deoxyribonucleic Acid, which is basically four chemicals, the four nucleotides cytosine, guanine, thymine and adenine. These four chemicals code out in groups of three to make the various amino acids to that link together to make the various protein chains that make life on earth possible. Four chemicals arranged in groups of three means there are sixty-four numerical possibilities for generating all the life on earth.

Moleeds are based on the numbers twenty-seven and thirty-seven. 27 plus 37 equal 64, the number of chemical codes for creating life on earth.


Ha ha ha. You decide.

Let's examine other cultures for evidence of moleeds.

The I Ching, oriental mysticism, is based on sixty-four hexagrams. The Hebrew words for Adam and Eve, when translated into numbers—because every Hebrew letter has a numerical value—equals sixty-four: Adam is 45, Eve is 19.

There are sixty-four squares on a chess and checkerboard. The Beatles wrote: "When I'm sixty-four."

Don't you see?!?

They laughed at Copernicus.
They laughed at Galileo.
They laughed at Darwin.

And right now ...

... I'm not doing that well.

Update: I learn that Mr Fleischer has a myspace page with a reference to moleeds.

This the Master Moleed Chart. Such beautiful symmetry. There are 36 Moleeds. They are divided into 6 groups of 6 each. Notice how the first red Moleed “1” and the last red Moleed “36” add to equal “37”. All 36 Moleeds demonstrate the same property.

The Chart itself is ... mysterious. As with many great qabalists, one looks upon his work and asks: Is it madness? Or genius?

Update: It turns out that Fleischer has a TED talk with all new material!


Anonymous said...

I remember Charles Fleischer doing this routine on an HBO Young Comedians special roughly 20 years ago, and laughing so hard i nearly feel off my couch. Just reading the transcript brings it all back.


Anonymous said...

Yup! Good ole Carvelli from Welcome Back Kotter got up on Young Comedians. I was but a wee teenager, and my best friend and I put a tape recorder on end, on a TV tray, and recorded it. I wish I could find that tape. Anyone know where I can get an mp3 of that recording?

Anonymous said...

I have been looking for anyone that remembered this skit for decades. I recall laughing my head off, but noboby I knew ever saw this. Thanks so much for posting it - I can cross another silly thing off my list of things to find.

Anonymous said...

I tried to search for the video of this on the web and sites like YouTube over 6 months ago, but was disappointed not to find it anywhere. Since I have this on video, I decided to get it up on YouTube myself. If anyone is interested in reliving the laughs, visit and comment at:

Anonymous said...

Thanks! I saw this as a kid and it's stuck with me for decades. It's great to see it again (I watched your YouTube video too).