04 May 2004

Ewok apocalypse

Admit it. You hate 'em.
This document does not advocate or condone the extinction or betrayal of Ewoks, it merely reports upon a physical situation and the acts involved.

The circumstances at the end of Return of the Jedi lead inevitably to an environmental disaster on the Endor moon. The explosion of a small artificial moon in low orbit sends a meteoric rain onto the Ewok sanctuary, on a scale unmatched since Endor formed. Through either direct atmospheric injection of small particles, or showers of ejecta from large impacts, the atmosphere will be filled with smoke and fallout causing a gargantuan nuclear-winter effect.

The page has more information than you could imagine, detailing the specifics of the horrid little teddy bears' deaths.

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