No, I'm not attending Burning Man this year. Yes, I've broken down on my every-second-year rule. But I thought I would be simpler to follow this advice from Ozzy:
- Stack all your fans in one corner of the living room. Put on your most fabulous outfit. Turn the fans on full blast. Dump a vacuum cleaner bag in front of them.
- Buy a new set of expensive camping gear. Break it.
- Set your house thermostat so it's 50 degrees for the first hour of sleep and 100 degrees the rest of the night.
- Before eating any food, drop it in a sandbox and lick a battery.
- Have a 3 a.m. soul baring conversation with a drag nun in platforms, a crocodile and Bugs Bunny. Be unable to tell if you're hallucinating. Lust after Bugs Bunny.
There's lots more items on the list, if you dare to look. Special mention for this one, which is genius:
- Read Dhalgren by Samuel R. Delany. Read The City Not Long After by Pat Murphy. Cut off the bindings, throw all the pages up in the air, and shuffle them back together. Reread The City After Dhalgren by Samuel Murphy. Burn it. Read the ashes.
I'm tempted to actually do that one, given that I dearly love Dhalgren but have never succeeded in getting through it cover-to-cover.