04 June 2005

Arkham, Nigeria

Quite some time ago, I stumbled across the site of a bloke who writes back to Nigerian scam spammers for his own amusement. My favorite is one in which he spins a tale based in the style of H.P. Lovecraft and the scammer either buys it or plays along.
Another thing is that, you must take the shining trapezohedron and keep it in a safe deposit box, until you are ready to come to Nigeria. I want you to bring it with you to Nigeria. You know that a lot of people here are very experienced in this kind of matter over here, therefore when you bring it here we will consult the wise ones for them to tell us what it is and what you should do with it. Now that they know that you have it and they have not come near you but they have shown themselves t you, then there is an edge you have over them. In this case you must not take anything for granted. Keep the thing in a safe deposit box and also keep the key to box far away from where you are goimng to sleep this night, let us see if they are after you or they are after the stone. Which ever way we have to get to the bottom of this. I am very positive that this will put your name in the front pages for a very long time.

You can do the transfer to me either through western union money transfer to TONY IBRAHIM or through the bank account information I have provided for you ...

Via DeLong I learn of a new variation.
Dr. Abossi, before his bloody and violent death, asked me to act as Beneficiary of Consignment to this consignment. In order to see that the Consignment is placed in the rightful hands of Dr. Vintu's family, I ask that we immediately begin proceedings to transfer the Consignment to me.

Unfortunately, I will be unable to travel to your location in order to claim the Consignment. I am confined to a life-support facility on the grounds of Miskatonic University in Arkham, Massachusetts. The nature of my life support equipment makes any travel of any sort our of the question. Sadly, the nature of my infirmity (I was the recipient of a failed body transplant, and was left with no arms, legs, abdomen, torso, phalanges, vertebra, femurs, tibias, or knees) makes telephone use extremely difficult, and confidential telephone use impossible.

Would it possible for an attorney to act on my behalf? Someone with arms?

The whole thing is funny. If you like that sort of thing.

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