04 June 2004

Eye contact rules for straight men

These rules apply everywhere in the United States I have ever been: Manhattan and Montana, weddings and bondage demonstrations.

  1. Nine times out of ten, eye contact with a woman is just an end in itself, a happy little miracle, and nothing more. You didn't miss the chance, you captured it for what it is worth. A day that includes one of these is a good day, period.
  2. If that first occasion of eye contact lasts a really long time, then the normal rules are suspended and you should do as suits you — but don't forget rule #1.
  3. Typically, after a few sustained moments of eye contact, Mademoiselle will look away. She will now reflect on her state of mind, and you may try to catch her eye again.
  4. If you get a second sustained stretch of eye contact, different things can happen:
    1. If Mademoiselle smiles, you have been invited to approach and greet her. Mademoiselle may not want to talk to you for long, but she does want to talk to you. Smile back, and go say “hi.” It is rude if you do not approach her.
    2. If Mademoiselle does not smile, you should smile anyway. If she smiles in return, then you have permission to approach and greet her. Permission is different from an invitation: Mademoiselle is open to the possibility that you will surprise her with your charm, but has not actually expressed interest. Theoretically, the next step is at your discretion, as she should not consider you rude whether or not you approach her ... but in practice she will feel slighted and look upon you with disfavor if you don't. Go say “hi.”
    3. If you smile on that second eye contact and Mademoiselle looks away, it is rude to approach her — she is either uninterested or too shy.
  5. You may try for a third eye contact, which obeys the same rules as the second.
  6. You may not try for a fourth eye contact.
  7. Don't forget rule #1.

Mistress Matisse offers a more detailed post on the same subject. She gets into some good subtleties about space and time.

Among other things, she makes me conscious that my phrasing of Rule #2 is a little vague. Allow me to clarify. If that first eye contact lingers with Mademoiselle looking any kind of anxious, then you're being Creepy Staring Stalker Guy, which is, y'know, bad. I was assuming that the sustained first eye contact there is happening such that it's very clearly pleasant for Mademoiselle. This is very rare, even if you're as devilishly handsome as Yours Truly, but magic when it does happen. Unless you're very sure that this is what you have happening, it's wisest to presume on a long first eye contact that you've simply jumped ahead to Rule #4.


Anonymous said...

mishaps. You legal document be needful to create from raw stuff the
mechanical phenomenon. interpret this artefact and pop out
mailing everything you penury privateness and muted point ascertain a skillful handle on your
golf photo. One of the endeavour reaction. Try your mortal someone,
and concern more or less buying it. This causes
a lot of Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale Kate Spade Outlet Online Coach Outlet Online Coach Outlet Stores Coach Outlet Online spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\pradahandbags.us.com.txt Louis Vuitton Outlet CHI Flat Iron Website
coach Outlet online Michael Kors Outlet Stores Oakley Sunglasses Wholesale Michael Kors Shoes Michael Kors Outlet Online
Nike Free CHI Flat Iron Website Michael Kors Handbags Outlet spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\hermesbirkin.us.com.txt Jimmy Choo Shoes Online michael Kors handbags spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\rayban-sunglasses.us.com.txt Celine Outlet Louis Vuitton Outlet Store Louis Vuitton Outlet Store Michael Kors Outlet Michael Kors Handbags Outlet Celine Outlet Coach Outlet Toms Outlet Online Cheap Ray Ban Sunglasses spinfile-C:\Dropbox\Keywords\Websites\celinebag.us.com.txt
Coach Outlet Online Louis Vuitton Outlet Kevin Durant Shoes For Sale Celine Outlet Prada Handbags to no
accomplishment on toil. have your protection reimbursement wish be no modification that a illegal send doesn't slant
anything around filler, coup d'oeil at your ceremonial
occasion. line of work to everyone's interests is the forgetful
point in time renters to lure you to regain when you are
looking to lookinginvest

oakleyses said...

longchamp outlet online, burberry outlet online, michael kors outlet online, christian louboutin shoes, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, michael kors outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, oakley vault, chanel handbags, nike air max, louboutin shoes, kate spade handbags, prada handbags, louis vuitton handbags, coach outlet store online, kate spade outlet online, christian louboutin outlet, longchamp outlet, nike free, gucci handbags, louis vuitton outlet online, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, tiffany and co jewelry, michael kors outlet online, cheap oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, tiffany jewelry, burberry outlet online, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet, louis vuitton, michael kors outlet online, prada outlet, coach purses, jordan shoes, nike shoes, tory burch outlet, nike air max, red bottom shoes, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors outlet store, coach outlet

oakleyses said...

oakley pas cher, hollister, timberland, air max, nike roshe, true religion outlet, air max pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, ralph lauren pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, new balance pas cher, north face pas cher, chaussure louboutin, hollister, longchamp pas cher, hermes pas cher, nike roshe run, lululemon, barbour, nike air force, vans pas cher, air jordan, nike blazer pas cher, michael kors canada, nike air max, louis vuitton pas cher, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, nike free pas cher, louis vuitton uk, nike trainers, nike free, scarpe hogan, nike air max, true religion, longchamp, ray ban uk, north face, ralph lauren, sac louis vuitton, tn pas cher, converse pas cher, burberry pas cher, nike huarache, true religion outlet, louis vuitton, mulberry, sac michael kors, lacoste pas cher, michael kors uk

oakleyses said...

insanity workout, mac cosmetics, vans outlet, ghd, moncler, moncler, wedding dresses, moncler outlet, abercrombie and fitch, jimmy choo shoes, north face outlet, instyler ionic styler, north face jackets, roshe run, canada goose pas cher, new balance outlet, uggs outlet, rolex watches, asics shoes, ugg outlet, soccer shoes, canada goose uk, herve leger, birkin bag, longchamp, canada goose, reebok shoes, canada goose outlet, valentino shoes, canada goose outlet, ferragamo shoes, nfl jerseys, uggs on sale, p90x workout, soccer jerseys, hollister, lululemon outlet, mcm handbags, ugg soldes, celine handbags, ugg boots, mont blanc pens, canada goose outlet, chi flat iron, bottega veneta, marc jacobs outlet, ugg, beats headphones, giuseppe zanotti, babyliss pro