30 March 2004

My favorite genre

If you have seen Office Space then the political satire Oval Office Space will make you die laughing. Go read the whole thing: the first line from Condi Rice alone will kill ya.

If you haven't seen Office Space, what's wrong with you? Mike Judge is a genius! Go rent it now!


RICHARD CLARKE is working at an anonymous cubicle deep within the bowels of the West Wing, poring over papers, when his boss, GEORGE W. BUSH, stops by, cup of coffee in hand.

BUSH: Heeeey Clarke. Whaaaat’s happening.

CLARKE: Uh, hi, Mr. President.

BUSH: We need to talk about your WMD reports. Yeeeeah…we’re really trying to punch up our Iraq intelligence. Did you get a copy of that memo?

CLARKE: Uh, yeah, I got it, right here. I’m sorry. I was going over all the intelligence and I just couldn’t find anything indicating that Iraq had any weapons of mass destruction … but I promise I’ll do better next time.

BUSH: Yeeeeah. It’s just that we’re really trying to make it clear that the U.S. was in imminent danger from Saddam Hussein and everything, and he might have had a connection to al-Qaeda ... so if you could just start putting that in your WMD reports, that’d be great.

CLARKE: But I don't think that —

BUSH: And I’ll make sure you get another copy of that memo, m’kay? Thanks a bunch.

BUSH walks off as CLARKE, shaking his head, returns to his paperwork. Within seconds, DICK CHENEY arrives.

CHENEY: Richard, we need to talk about your WMD reports.

CLARKE: Yeah. I know. I know. The President just came around and told me, and I promised him I’d …

CHENEY: It’s just that we’re trying to make it clear to everyone there was a ''smoking gun'' forcing us to invade Iraq and everything instead of focus on al-Qaeda, so if you could ''punch it up'' a little with those reports, that’d be super. OK?

CHENEY gives CLARKE an overly chummy punch on the shoulder, from which CLARKE recoils.

CHENEY: … And I’ll make sure you get another copy of that memo.

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