Over on Twitter, journalist David Roberts <@drvox> makes an observation about sexism in American politics:
CNN Breaking News <@cnnbrk>:I've always thought Gillibrand would be a great choice -- checks tons of boxes, super-appealing. But the speed with which grassroots Dems bought the fucking absurd sexist fairy tale that she “ran Franken out” of the Senate makes me despair for any female running.
Democratic Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand says she is “definitely thinking” about running for president in 2020 and will announce a decision in the near future https://cnn.it/2LhAbZH
Of course it's not background sexism! It's just that Hillary really was shrill! Elizabeth Warren really did screw up the Pocahontas thing! Gillibrand really did take Franken down! We just need to find a perfect female candidate w/ no problems or history or idiosyncrasies.
I saw this on my main Twitter list, since I follow Roberts. I also follow another person who re-shared marisa kabas <@MarisaKabas> quote-tweeting him, saying:
Of course I’m happy when men “get it”, but it is amusing to see them realize things most women have known since we were old enough to have critical thought.
Before you make a proclamation of The Way It Is For Ladies, ask yourself: Is it possible a woman has already said this, and probably more eloquently? And should I just amplify her instead of creating my own content?
This sparked a little dialogue in replies:
“Celia”:
And they always get so much credit for it too
marisa kabas:
imagine if they just—and i know this is going to sound crazy—listened to women??
“Celia”:
If they just listened to women they wouldn’t get a medal when they proudly exclaim sexism and misogyny exists.
Can’t let the women get credit for talking about it
I'm about to do some grumbling about this. But first let's sit with this critique.
Let's respect how vexing it is when someone shows up late to something you have been saying for a long time. We all know the ambivalence one can feel about that.
Let's remember how best practice for people in positions of privilege is to point to, credit, and amplify the voices of the marginalized, especially those who made the point early.
Let's take the point about “getting a medal” and note how there are certain people in positions of privilege who make a lot of noise about how woke they are and use it to get support and attention.
These frustrations are 100% legitimate. So let them soak in for a moment.
And. Also:
I recognize Roberts' type because I am not so different. Privileged in a number of ways, and while social justice isn't our main thing, we do care about it and we try to show up for it.
There are times when I have caught a thing about sexism or racism or some other systemic injustice — noticed it because I have listened to people hurt by it — and though I am sure that someone better-qualified to speak to it from experience has addressed the thing, I do not have the quote in hand and cannot find it easily. So the choice is whether to speak to the injustice in my words, or to not address it at all. One may object that Roberts is not in the middle of some realtime situation and so could hunt up a quote about this from a woman who said it better, but still: time and energy and attention are limited.
So in practice marisa kabas is saying to Roberts, and me, and all men: criticize sexism less.
This is not about marisa kabas. And again, her frustration and criticism are both legitimate. This is about the pattern. Pressure against the privileged speaking out for social justice coming from proponents of social justice is common and takes a range of forms.
Being a straight White guy who talks about social justice sometimes, I hear from other people who are some combination of straight, White, and male who ask me how I find the fortitude to do it. They tell me they are not deterred by opponents of social justice, but rather by the pushback they get from proponents of social justice any time they engage. They see that I am more skillful and dedicated than they are — which is not necessarily saying much, but is often the best example they have available to them — and I still get a lot of criticism for not saying things perfectly.
Yeah, many of those people are either rationalizing their laziness about addressing social justice, or even speaking in bad faith to rationalize their opposition to social justice. I remind them that getting critical feedback and learning from it is part of the work. Because it needs to be.
But some of these folks are earnest, sincere, and genuinely pained to be retiring from the field. I have no advice for them beyond telling them to grit their teeth and be happy warriors, because no amount of care and diligence they take is sufficient to end the barrage of cutting criticism from the very people whose perspective they value and are trying to support.
Yes, those people should be better. I too should be better.
But I know what will happen.
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