Supervillainy

I recently picked up Austin Grossman's novel Soon I Will Become Invincible, but lost my enthusiasm for it midway through. The character of aging superhero Blackwolf is cool — obviously inspired by Batman, Blackwolf lacks superpowers but is smart, skillful ... and was diagnosed as slightly autistic in childhood. The chapter titles are great: “Welcome to my Island,” “Maybe We Are Not So Different, You and I.” But midway through the little witticisms about “malign hypercognative disorder” and so forth lost their sparkle, and it seemed like the novel just didn't seem to have much to say.

Instead, I offer you a little story in the same spirit: I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity

And if you like that, don't forget an oldie but a goodie, available in The Onion archives: Dept Head Rawlings' invaluable briefing transcripts:

• Allow Me To Introduce You To The Other Members Of Alpha Bravo Team
• By Now, The Uzbekistanis Have Discovered The Disappearance Of Their Orbital Platform
• I've Received Some Unpleasant Information Regarding My Estranged Half-Brother's Involvement In The Barcelona Debacle
• We Have Confirmation That Someone Has Tested A Thanatos Device
• Pierre Will Be Leading The Vertical-Insertion Team Into The Vakhan Territory
• We Have New Intelligence Regarding The Identity Of The Counter-Spy Within The Department