Whole

From An Open Letter to Whole Foods Supermarkets, from the wise and witty folks at McSweeney's:

I'm moving on. There's a new man in my life, Whole Foods. You might know him; his name is Joe, and he's big in the trade industry. He and I will line my cupboard with a love stronger than your chelated nondairy nonanimal protein lozenges, deeper than the roast of your fair-trade mountain-grown shade-grown Ethiopian Yergacheffe, and bulkier than all of the bulgur wheat and buckwheat groats in your bulk-foods aisle.

Ah, yes: Joe, pilot of the Fearless Flyer.